I have attended 2 more births in the past month. I have completely fallen in love with being a doula. It is so amazing to watch the transformation of the mom and dad as they become parents. Seeing their baby for the first time. Falling in love with their baby, learning how life changes after having a child.
One of my favorite things is watching the dad be so supportive of mom through out labor. He is often the unsung hero during labor and birth. There by her side throughout hours of labor, up all night. Willingly waiting to help her in anyway he can. The loving touch of a husband calms the mom during labor, their eyes locked, he is able to breathe with her though the contractions. It is amazing to see their bond grow.
I have seen a birth that went as smooth as you can imagine. In my clients prenatal appointment she described her ideal birth, and she had exactly that. I was so impressed by her positive attitude through out her labor. Her husband was a wonderful support to her.
I have seen a birth that did not go as planned. She faced so many obstacles, and was able to stay positive and have a good experience, even if things did not go the way she planned. I learned how to support a woman who has an epidural and a traumatic birth, both during and after. I learned how to work in a group with dad, mom, and sister. I saw the look in a mothers eyes when she sees her child is here safe, as she comforts his cries and falls in love.
These two experiences have been amazing for me. Babies are so special to me, so sweet and adorable. I love getting the opportunity to hold these little ones.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Thursday, February 14, 2013
The more you know the less you say
One of the most eye opening things I have learned is the more you know the less you say. I used to always be interjecting myself and saying oh well I know this or that about birth. I felt like I was a little expert. But as I have learned more from classes, reading, and actual experiences, I don't say as much. I realize now how different every persons situation is. I have learned how to let others discover things for themselves. If asked I am happy to give of my knowledge. But I know that often times it is better to wait and be asked.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
a sweet poem
I have been happy, my dear,
To loan you half the house
Rent-free and furnished
As best I could.
You have been a good
Tenant, all in all
Quiet, yet comfortably there
Tapping friendly on the wall.
But I hear
You have outgrown the place
And are packing up to move.
Well, I will miss
The sweet proximity.
But we will keep in touch.
There are bonds, my dear,
That reach beyond a block
Or a mile or a hemisphere
Born of much love and labor.
I approve the move
And gladly turn from landlady
To neighbor.
--Carol Lynn Pearson
Monday, November 12, 2012
Attending a birth
Last week I had the opportunity to attend my first birth as a doula. It was amazing. The mom was a friend of mine and she was so gracious to allow me to attend. She had a natural birth and was so calm through out her labor. It was very impressive to me and I am so grateful she gave me the chance to experience a beautiful peaceful birth.
I was lucky to learn a lot there because she had her mom attend who was awesome at connecting with her daughter and guiding her through the difficult parts of delivery. She was also so willing to let me work together with her and the babies father as part of a wonderful birth team. I admit that I teared up when the baby was born. It is such a sweet moment when the new momma lays eyes on her precious baby for the first time. Wonderful.
I was lucky to learn a lot there because she had her mom attend who was awesome at connecting with her daughter and guiding her through the difficult parts of delivery. She was also so willing to let me work together with her and the babies father as part of a wonderful birth team. I admit that I teared up when the baby was born. It is such a sweet moment when the new momma lays eyes on her precious baby for the first time. Wonderful.
Monday, September 17, 2012
Doula Bootcamp
Last week I went to what I would tenderly refer to as doula bootcamp. It was a DONA approved birth doula training, and it was amazing! Three days for 8 hours a day learning about prenatal care, labor, birth and post-partum care. I know so many possible birthing positions, it really is amazing all the ways woman can use gravity and their body to make the work of labor easier. We also learned different comfort measures for labor. Things like a double hip squeeze, knee press, massage, pressure points, and hydrotherapy.
I am amazed that I feel more prepared to work with a woman during labor. I feel confident that I would be able to help a woman enjoy the birth of her child, no matter what type of birth she has. A doula really is there to give the woman a positive experience, no matter what happens. To in a way cocoon the mother from the things that go wrong and to promote in her mind the things that go right during the birth. Having a positive birth experience is so important to the woman's psyche and the way she views herself.
I even processed my own births a little more while I was there. I actually came away remembering a lot of comfort measures that I did do in labor with my son. I really am not sad about the way his birth went, it was a great experience that changed my views on a lot of things. One thing I came away with for me, just me not my clients, family, or friends, is that I do not ever want to give birth in a hospital again unless I have too. The needles, the ligths, the atmosphere, the blood pressure cuff, the bed. Things that I just do not want to deal with unless I absolutely have to. It is just not for me.
I learned how to help a woman having a cesarean birth. There are things you can do, you can change, you can say to help a mother have a more positive experience with her birth. For example simply telling her what the doctor is doing, telling her about the baby after he/she is born. Holding her hand, the comfort of just knowing someone else is there for you during major surgery. Helping her hold the baby skin to skin before he/she is taken to the nursery, that promotes a lot for the mother to see and touch the baby. As a doula I also can stay with the mother and let the father go with the baby as she is being stitched up. Doulas are for every kind of support, physical, emotional, mental, we are there to mother the mother.
For a mother having an epidural, she still needs comfort and often still needs help dealing with the contractions. Helping her know how or when to push, encouraging her. There are so many ways we as woman want and need to be supported during this momentous occasion as we either become mothers or add children to our lives.
I have to admit I cried at least a little during every birth we saw at the training. Birth is so amazing and so special. We did a word web during our class and came up with a statement about our perception of birth. I wrote:
Birth is the sweet experience of new life coming to earth. It unites families in love and tenderness. It is a sacred and emotional event for all involved.
I am so excited as I continue on my journey to becoming a birth doula and helping woman to have a positive experience through out their pregnancy, during the birth of their baby, breastfeeding, and during those precious first weeks their babies life.
I am amazed that I feel more prepared to work with a woman during labor. I feel confident that I would be able to help a woman enjoy the birth of her child, no matter what type of birth she has. A doula really is there to give the woman a positive experience, no matter what happens. To in a way cocoon the mother from the things that go wrong and to promote in her mind the things that go right during the birth. Having a positive birth experience is so important to the woman's psyche and the way she views herself.
I even processed my own births a little more while I was there. I actually came away remembering a lot of comfort measures that I did do in labor with my son. I really am not sad about the way his birth went, it was a great experience that changed my views on a lot of things. One thing I came away with for me, just me not my clients, family, or friends, is that I do not ever want to give birth in a hospital again unless I have too. The needles, the ligths, the atmosphere, the blood pressure cuff, the bed. Things that I just do not want to deal with unless I absolutely have to. It is just not for me.
I learned how to help a woman having a cesarean birth. There are things you can do, you can change, you can say to help a mother have a more positive experience with her birth. For example simply telling her what the doctor is doing, telling her about the baby after he/she is born. Holding her hand, the comfort of just knowing someone else is there for you during major surgery. Helping her hold the baby skin to skin before he/she is taken to the nursery, that promotes a lot for the mother to see and touch the baby. As a doula I also can stay with the mother and let the father go with the baby as she is being stitched up. Doulas are for every kind of support, physical, emotional, mental, we are there to mother the mother.
For a mother having an epidural, she still needs comfort and often still needs help dealing with the contractions. Helping her know how or when to push, encouraging her. There are so many ways we as woman want and need to be supported during this momentous occasion as we either become mothers or add children to our lives.
I have to admit I cried at least a little during every birth we saw at the training. Birth is so amazing and so special. We did a word web during our class and came up with a statement about our perception of birth. I wrote:
Birth is the sweet experience of new life coming to earth. It unites families in love and tenderness. It is a sacred and emotional event for all involved.
I am so excited as I continue on my journey to becoming a birth doula and helping woman to have a positive experience through out their pregnancy, during the birth of their baby, breastfeeding, and during those precious first weeks their babies life.
Friday, August 10, 2012
Why birth naturally
I had my second baby natural, no drugs of any kind. I have gotten a lot of questions about that choice, both before and after she was born.
"why go through the pain when you can get an epidural and feel nothing"
"you don't get a medal/prize for natural birth"
"thousands of women a year have an epidural and them and their babies are just fine"
and of course simply
"WHAT? WHY?"
I could spend an hour educating them on why I believe natural birth to be better for both mother and baby. I could sight dozens of studies and evidence, I could give anecdotal evidence. But none of this usually works and most of what I would say would not make sense to the people asking me the question.
So last week someone said "you had your daughter naturally? Why would you want to go through that? Just get an epidural!" I gave them this reply "Why do people run marathons? Why does someone climb Mt. Everest? Why do people go sky diving?" Now sure some people do get medals or prizes for running a marathon, but that is a select few out of the thousands that run, most don't get anything. So why do people do these other things? For the experience, the thrill, the adrenaline, or simply so they can say that they have done it. The person I was talking to thought for a second then shockingly said, "oh. that makes sense".
My experience trying to explain my birthing decision has taught me more than anything to support others in their birthing choices. It really is no one else's business but their own. If someone has made an educated decision, just keep your commentary to yourself. Unless they ask you of course, then educate away what you believe to be best.
"why go through the pain when you can get an epidural and feel nothing"
"you don't get a medal/prize for natural birth"
"thousands of women a year have an epidural and them and their babies are just fine"
and of course simply
"WHAT? WHY?"
I could spend an hour educating them on why I believe natural birth to be better for both mother and baby. I could sight dozens of studies and evidence, I could give anecdotal evidence. But none of this usually works and most of what I would say would not make sense to the people asking me the question.
So last week someone said "you had your daughter naturally? Why would you want to go through that? Just get an epidural!" I gave them this reply "Why do people run marathons? Why does someone climb Mt. Everest? Why do people go sky diving?" Now sure some people do get medals or prizes for running a marathon, but that is a select few out of the thousands that run, most don't get anything. So why do people do these other things? For the experience, the thrill, the adrenaline, or simply so they can say that they have done it. The person I was talking to thought for a second then shockingly said, "oh. that makes sense".
My experience trying to explain my birthing decision has taught me more than anything to support others in their birthing choices. It really is no one else's business but their own. If someone has made an educated decision, just keep your commentary to yourself. Unless they ask you of course, then educate away what you believe to be best.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Great Birthing Books!
I have read a lot of great birthing books that I have loved and that have helped me with my babies and others I have referred to them. Now I have linked them all with amazon, because that is where I buy most of my books.
My favorite book that I read while I was pregnant with my daughter was "Birthing From Within" by Pam England. This book just kind of spoke to me if you will. However, whenever I recommend it to anyone I always find myself prefacing it, because it is a little odd to the average person. In the book she talks a lot about birth art and the beginning is pretty unique. But the second half has a lot of good advice on coping during labor. Reading birthing from within gave me a lot of confidence. It also made me look inside myself and see and realize my anxieties and preconceived notions about birth.
Ina Mae books! She has several and they are all great for expectant mothers. Ina Mae's Guide to Childbirth is a great one to start with. I would say it is the most mainstream of her books. She has a good range of technical how birth works type of information and techniques to find peace in birthing. Another book of hers I liked is Spiritual Midwifery it is a little more "hippie" than a lot of people are used to. She talks about her journey to becoming a midwife. Her days living in the caravan and learning to deliver babies out of necessity. She also has Birth Matters which promotes natural childbirth and shows the importance of birth and peace in childbirth.
My favorite part of the Ina Mae books is the stories. I loved reading the birth stories of these woman she had seen and helped over the years, it made me feel I was not alone. I loved feeling that comrodery with these other women who had been where I was. I drew strength from their positive birth stories wanting to have these joyful experiences like they had. She had many different stories so that everyone could relate to one of them.
Gentle Birth Choices by Barbara Harper was the first natural birthing book I actually read. It is very long and written like a textbook. It gave a lot of different choices and showed you that you have options. One section she has in there is birth myths, things that we believe or are lead to believe which actually are not true. One eye opener was how much say we have in our care that we do not realize, as consumers we should control the market, not the other way around.
Pushed by Jennifer Block. Interesting, has a different feel than the other books. She shows a lot more of the business and legal side of birth and decisions around birth. Another book that was similar to me was The Thinking Woman's Guide To a Better Birth. Both of these had a lot of research and statistics. The positive thing I found in these books was that statistically speaking it was perfectly safe for me to have my baby not in a hospital. This was important to me because people around me told me it was risky and I was glad to direct them to studies along with my personal confidence.
The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth reminded me a little of what to expect when you are expecting. It went through the weeks of pregnancy and was a lot more pregnancy focused rather than being mainly focused on the actual birth process. It was informative and very general. Personally, it was not really my type of book, but it is very highly recommended and great for a general reference for any woman.
As I continue to read more I will try to do mini reviews of the books.
My favorite book that I read while I was pregnant with my daughter was "Birthing From Within" by Pam England. This book just kind of spoke to me if you will. However, whenever I recommend it to anyone I always find myself prefacing it, because it is a little odd to the average person. In the book she talks a lot about birth art and the beginning is pretty unique. But the second half has a lot of good advice on coping during labor. Reading birthing from within gave me a lot of confidence. It also made me look inside myself and see and realize my anxieties and preconceived notions about birth.
Ina Mae books! She has several and they are all great for expectant mothers. Ina Mae's Guide to Childbirth is a great one to start with. I would say it is the most mainstream of her books. She has a good range of technical how birth works type of information and techniques to find peace in birthing. Another book of hers I liked is Spiritual Midwifery it is a little more "hippie" than a lot of people are used to. She talks about her journey to becoming a midwife. Her days living in the caravan and learning to deliver babies out of necessity. She also has Birth Matters which promotes natural childbirth and shows the importance of birth and peace in childbirth.
My favorite part of the Ina Mae books is the stories. I loved reading the birth stories of these woman she had seen and helped over the years, it made me feel I was not alone. I loved feeling that comrodery with these other women who had been where I was. I drew strength from their positive birth stories wanting to have these joyful experiences like they had. She had many different stories so that everyone could relate to one of them.
Gentle Birth Choices by Barbara Harper was the first natural birthing book I actually read. It is very long and written like a textbook. It gave a lot of different choices and showed you that you have options. One section she has in there is birth myths, things that we believe or are lead to believe which actually are not true. One eye opener was how much say we have in our care that we do not realize, as consumers we should control the market, not the other way around.
Pushed by Jennifer Block. Interesting, has a different feel than the other books. She shows a lot more of the business and legal side of birth and decisions around birth. Another book that was similar to me was The Thinking Woman's Guide To a Better Birth. Both of these had a lot of research and statistics. The positive thing I found in these books was that statistically speaking it was perfectly safe for me to have my baby not in a hospital. This was important to me because people around me told me it was risky and I was glad to direct them to studies along with my personal confidence.
The Complete Book of Pregnancy and Childbirth reminded me a little of what to expect when you are expecting. It went through the weeks of pregnancy and was a lot more pregnancy focused rather than being mainly focused on the actual birth process. It was informative and very general. Personally, it was not really my type of book, but it is very highly recommended and great for a general reference for any woman.
As I continue to read more I will try to do mini reviews of the books.
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